Brokedown Palace

Well…

Somehow the Poison Oak got on my back, shoulders, and upper arms as of just yesterday evening. Must have been the shirt I was wearing on a long bike ride was one I was working outside in and hadn’t been washed enough. Granted that’s just the brand newest break out, not including the tons of other places where there is still quite active reactions going on. You guys have absolutely no idea how thoroughly gross and upsetting a poison plant reaction all over your body going on 2 weeks is. It’s just like WHY?! 

Maybe at first it’s not all that shockingly gross, but when you can’t get rid of it and it’s all over your body it really can consume you. Plus, my original reactions were more like patches of raised rashes. Now, in places like my wrists and my knee caps there are just huge patches of tons and tons of small hard blisters. You can pop them but new ones soon appear. And then that leaves nasty little scabs all over, which already occur due to itching the bumps. 

That grossness combined with the non-stop deep visceral and painful itching in multiple places at the same time creates the hopeless frustration and upset. A couple days ago I was in such a mental trench that I wanted to burst out crying, and I tried, but honestly I don’t easily cry over physical things. As a side note, I do easily cry over moments of strong emotional empathy with certain people and situations. 

In the past week the feelings of hopelessness combined with my thinking that there is no way there is going to be poison oak oils all over things and just eventually I’ll fully heal. 

But clearly, by now I realize that is not the case, and somehow that shit is still getting on my skin. So because of the fact I am having a brand new and quite large reaction in a whole new place and other places grow worse, and that it is so frustrating, I actually found the mindset where I am deciding I am fucking through with this fucking bullshit annoying situations. So starting today, I am going to a doctor, and I am launching a cleaning crusade with the urushiol oil removing liquid. I am going to saturate every single piece of laundry in that stuff, and I am going to use it to scrub the shit out of my carpet, wipe down the hardwood floor outside my room, wipe down every single item and surface I commonly touch.

So fuck, I am so done with this. 

THIS ENDS THIS FUCKING WEEK. PERIOD.

Reblog - Posted 1 day ago
So it’s Sunday…

And I am still getting new reaction spots to the Poison Oak. Past 3 days not including the just starting day, of the 10 I’ve been reacting to the Poison Oak, have been the worse as far as itching goes. I have not gotten more than 1 straight hours of sleep. Thursday and Friday I could not do much more than sit there and itch these deep reaching and never ending itches. Eventually Friday and last night I was able to make it out on my bike for three hour bike rides. Which is a lot longer than my usual, just because it has been the only situation where for the majority I can take my mind off the itch to the point I didn’t itch, and my whole body was distracted from itching. This morning, things feels like they might be a little better, and I think if I went to sleep I could sleep for straight continuous time. But there are spots that were new as of the previous night. My feet got worse and now my toes, developing blister bumps, and most awful at the ankle and the heel where the blisters are quite large. My knee caps have gotten worse yet. So have my fingers and the webbing in between them where there are now painfully itchy blisters. One of the newest spots is actually back on my penis, where there is also a couple blisters in a relatively small spot. 

So it’s become clear that there is the Urushiol oil found in poison plants in all kinds of places probably around my room. I think most likely it’s all over my carpet. This could explain my feet, my ankles, my whole lower legs, my knee caps, and also my fingers because I have been doing a lot of push ups on it in the past week. After my push ups I usually fall to my knees in exhaustion. And just walking around my carpet barefoot I could have spread it all over my lower legs and feet by the fact I often use one foot to itch the other leg and foot. It could also explain the new spot on the penis because often after a set of pushups I immediately go take a piss. 

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday morning were all hellish especially upon my attempts at sleep because the itching was so painful, so deep, so continuous, and in so many different places all at the same time. This was extremely frustrating and I sounded as though I were possessed by a demon I was moaning so much and making such weird awful sounds.

The Oil could also still be lingering in some of my clothes. But as of now I need to figure out a way to clean out what may be on my carpet or else this is just going to continue. The oil can stay on stuff indefinitely for up to 5 years. 

Reblog - Posted 2 days ago
Quite typical shit. Typical social peer group shit.
Reblog - Posted 2 days ago

From now on, when I catch a girl looking at me I am going to wink real smooth and just a second enough later for it to look legit I will start rubbing my eye and blinking really fast and hard like something is in it.

Reblog - Posted 3 days ago
dyrkwyst:

stillness on Flickr.
Stillness PRINTS

I love this Photography blog I just found.

dyrkwyst:

stillness on Flickr.

Stillness PRINTS

I love this Photography blog I just found.

Reblog - Posted 5 days ago - via / Source with 74 notes

This Poison Oak is a continuing fucking nightmare. It was probably last Tuesday or Wednesday when I was first exposed, but I think Wednesday was when my Penis started itching really bad, and then Thursday rashing on my pelvis appeared. Over the weekend it progressively grew worse and appeared almost on all limbs, with new rashing and bumps appearing every day. Well come Tuesday of this week, some of the original locations have gotten almost 100% better, but every day is still bringing new inflammation spots, including today and this evening. And frankly last night’s itching kept me up the most of any night yet, and right this moment I think I can say I am itching the most ever of the whole time even with plenty of calamine lotion. Now this isn’t an entirely bad sign, according to the internet the reaction is at its worse 5 days in. Today is 5 days from Friday which was the day I had the cuttings of what I had not known was Poison Oak all over me, But that isn’t a sure explanation, and at this rate I would be surprised if new spots of these latests’ significance didn’t continue to emerge. But if my 5 day theory is right, it should for the most part. But if by Friday there are still new spots my fear would be that I dragged in the plant oil, which is the same oil the majority of people are allergic to in Poison Ivy, Oak, and Sumac, on various parts of me and got it on all kinds of of objects. Thus I’d be continuously picking it up and putting it somewhere on my skin. Apparently the oil is very hard to get completely rid of with a common wash, kind of like skunk spray. In fact the liquid that breaks the oil down that I bought is also used for that. So it can get stuck under finger nails for days and days after the fact, so it’s possible I spread it long after Friday until I found that out on Monday and intensively cleaned under my nails. Also one wash of clothing and linens might not get off the oil, and I only washed my comforter once, so it’s even possible the newest spots are from sleeping on it. I flipped that over and will be washing it again. But yeah, this sucks. My left arm is a mess all around the forearm, on the elbow, and the inside of the upper arm, I would post a picture of how disgusting it is but I’ll spare you. My wrists and hands are still awful, where a lot of the newest small nasty itchy painful hard blister bumps are. 

There is one bright spot in this shit, and that is although I got some around the back of my ears and earlobes, I did not have any reactions on my precious face and ass. Except for one single blister bump on the upper outside of my right buttcheek that is already dried out and healing. 

Reblog - Posted 5 days ago
Reblog - Posted 6 days ago - via / Source with 258 notes

Whaat?

Reblog - Posted 6 days ago

Ya’ll like my get-up?

Reblog - Posted 6 days ago
I Love This.

I feel so sexy like this. I am so sexy like this. I feel so free, so liberated from convention. Last Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I was out in the backyard on the edge of the woods and lawn, cutting up a fallen dead tree log covered in vine and a small living tree. I had all kinds of leaves and other crap all over me,  especially Friday when I was throwing the huge piles of cuttings into the woods. But it really started before that, probably Thursday, with itching on my penis. At first I thought it was jock itch that was somehow there, not on thine nuts. But the next day, I seemed to have what looked like bug bites that were itchy all over my wrists as well as a red circular rash that wasn’t itchy on my upper left pelvis. Naturally, at first, I assumed the two new conditions to be unrelated. But over the course of the weekend from Friday evening onward, every thing started to get worse. The rash grew upward onto my stomach and my side. It became apparent to me my penis was covered in similar rash, as well as the edge of the whole package, and even bigger rashes on my inner thighs.  More bumps started to appear on both my wrists, further up my arms, and around my shin areas. Eventually the rashes did start to itch, get more bumpy, and the bumps on my hands and arms became more red and rashy. Late Friday night though I got really high and went down this somewhat paranoid and nightmarish road of thinking there were tiny bugs/flies all over me, all over my room, all over my bed, etc. Especially because there was a tiny fly I was catching a glimpse of every now and then that night in my room. I spent hours basically freaking out, standing still, sitting still, in the dark with my high power flashlight looking for anything that looked like flying bugs around my body. There was that tiny fly that I managed to swat out of the air. But after that night as everything became more rash based it was clear that it probably wasn’t bugs, and that something from the woods had gotten on my hands, and then all over me, especially from my crotch area. It’s been since Friday since I was working out back, and while some of the original locations are getting better with usual Poison Ivy/Oak treatments, it is continuing to pop up and spread to new locations. At least, it appeared that way last night to today, despite having washed all my clothes, all my bedding. It’s now spread over my whole pelvis and all the area above it up to my bellybutton, but that area is less itchy now, and up most the way of my left torso and some left back. It’s spread from the spots on my inner things to much of both my inner thighs, as well as some of the bottom of my thighs, and onto my calves and knee caps. It’s all over my left inner arm all the way up to the arm pit with some on my shoulder, chest, and outer forearm. But somehow there is only some bumps on my right arm. On some fingers there are extremely itchy, and painful, tiny little hard bumps in rows.

The reason I can non insecurely state that the itching started on my penis, is this is one of those situations where I am very confident that I did not come into the house after working outside and start jerking off. Give me a break. I also did shower every single time right after I was done working outside. 

So, as of now, it still feels like it is getting worse, and that I am being taken over by itchy rashiness all over my body. Getting high can help, as any weed smoker who’s ever been quite sick knows. The high just takes your mind off the discomfort and onto whatever you have planned or available to occupy your attention before you. Because as Friday night showed me, as I already knew, you can either go down the road of getting your mind off the ailment, or you can go down the road of be obsessively focused on the discomfort and the more intense perception of the awfulness of the situation. Unless of course you have a super heavy indica strain. 

Now, I am going to take an Oatmeal Bath. Not sure exactly what it is, I guess I am going to find out. Don’t think it’s literally taking a bath in oatmeal like the oatmeal you eat, but that would be crazy if it was. 

Reblog - Posted 1 week ago
Fuck this city. Fuck this life. Isn’t this planet burdened enough?

Fuck this city. Fuck this life. Isn’t this planet burdened enough?

Reblog - Posted 1 week ago
etherealvistas:

Blue Moraine Lake (Canada) by Carlos D. Ramirez

She should be here, not in a physical lusting for me.

etherealvistas:

Blue Moraine Lake (Canada) by Carlos D. Ramirez

She should be here, not in a physical lusting for me.

Reblog - Posted 1 week ago - via / Source with 113 notes
Looking at your blog depresses me. I’m such a little sensitive boy. I understand it’s definitely not attractive.
Reblog - Posted 1 week ago

starpulses:

a legendary pop music anthem that your faves could never touch

Ahhh hahaha Oh my God….. Yeah, that created very complicated feelings inside.