Oh, man. Northern Lights/Aurora from a Solar Storm earlier this week. First image is from within Quebec and second is within Vermont.
Just these pictures are profoundly beautiful. But I AM BUMMED. Because it was theoretically visible from where I am, but I was not aware. The weather might have been awful this past night, but Friday night it was perfectly clear. I would bet Ontario lake shore, where I commonly ride my bike, that night had a fantastic view. DAMN!
misty morning on top of the møns klint
- Radiolab, episode: “Loops”
When I heard this driving on the highway, I was like “eureka!”. Clearly this explains the experience of hallucinogens when you are just tremendously confused in the moment, and you don’t know what to do with yourself. Because your brain is so far from home, I can imagine it reacts initially by going into survival mode. Hence also the fight or flight response that is at the core of all anxiety, and the anxiety one may experience when in the altered state of psychedelia. So part of the confusion, that can be the beginning of panic and a bad trip, is when the mind has become so untethered to the common construct of waking life reality that is who you are and how that relates to your surroundings and time, and it is still trying to answer those two simple questions “Where am I?” and “When am I?” it is so unable to anchor into that everyday construct of reality. I assume because the brain can not form answers to those questions anxiety of fight or flight develops, and the part of the self, a part of the ego, very badly still wants to figure out the answers, and it starts taking yourself around the loop again, and again, and again till the power of the altered state just takes you somewhere else, you find some comfortable as possible discernment of the answers, or you willfully make the decision to not care and let the energy in your consciousness be free to roam.
..and it ends up the only girl you want, the absolute only one, is the one surprisingly kissing you in the dream, who’s face you do not remember, or whose face did not exist in the first place. This, the only refresh of your heart strings, with the deep ocean of reality between, purely just a figment of your imagination. Nothing is special enough, and that itself is liberation from the pull. The only pull is that maybe you’ll have another one of those dreams somewhere far down the line.
Definitely like magicsystem’s stuff.
Pink Montana Moment (by Jeff Clow)
What I said looking at this picture (In quiet wispy awe inspired voice): Wow, man, wow.
And I’m not even there. I knew Montana was a beautiful land, but I really don’t know what it’s like, but I think mostly of vast ranges, hilly plains, more sparse forests & rolling grassy semi barren mountains like the Black Hills of Dakota. But not jagged mountains with vast forest like this, a landscape I associate more with Pacific Northwest, British Columbia, and Alaska. Obviously that was stupid of me.
I’m not really into young couples trying to be cute with their young child, children or baby. Although I do think some kids around the toddler age can be cute, in general when I see a family like that I get sick to my stomach. Mostly just because I sick at heightened positivity, the positivity of people beyond what I am able to tolerate. Literally I get this feeling like my eyes just rolled back into my head and back out the bottom… maybe it’s to the sides… I don’t know, but I have a physical/psychiatric reaction. It doesn’t mean I hate families though. I love families when they’re in like a negative synchronization and harmony in an interpersonal bad mood.
But there is another personal aspect of that dislike having to do with a certain personal value or belief I developed in the past couple years. It doesn’t hurt that the basic idea of it turned up in Sarah Silverman’s latest HBO Special “We Are Miracles”, when I reacted with crazed excitement.(By the way, the true & deeper meaning wrapped in that performance I believe probably went over the majority of its viewers heads. I definitely didn’t see one the first time I watched it.) It’s rather simple…. the value/belief that is… not the deepest meaning of We are Miracles… that you should definitely find for yourself (Or take enough acid to think you’re going permanently schizophrenic.)
This belief of mine indeed could be setting me up to be a very profound hypocrite. But if and when it turns out I am, it will hopefully and likely be a long period between now and then, plenty of time to shift opinions.
ANYWAY… My belief is:
There are enough, too many, & forecast to be billions beyond too many in decades, individual human bodies on this planet of life other than human. Individual human bodies that need and/or DESERVE water, food, shelter, even health care, and even attention/affection/love to some extent. That is in addition just the issue of sustainability or lack there of in the consumption of resources.
It’s also not really a matter of those two different areas of concern of too many people. In fact those weren’t what were mentioned by Sarah Silverman. What she did mention had to do with the first concern regarding humanity, that because of ‘too many’, there are also too many children who need & DESERVE families. Obviously when Sarah made this point it was enveloped in a joke, and I’m not going to try to repeat it. Okay, but I can say it does have to do with Pet Shelters vs. Breeding as an analogy.
One rather important point about this is: this is not me saying I will adopt a child. It’s more along the lines of IF I get married, and my wife and I want a child, the first priority should be adopting a child. And that idea would likely be stiff condition for a marriage, with the possible compromise of I’ll try to make a child as long as we also adopt a child.
As far as the desire of people to have a child of their own pure genetic combination with the person they love, in general, I see it as selfish. I am able to see it as selfish mostly and especially because of when I imagine myself wanting that kind of deep personal reproduction when I am conscious of the current context of humanity. I mostly do refrain from just seeing anyone and any couple that wants to have a baby or make one together as selfish. Because I too once, especially when I believed I was in love with someone, had this weird desire, not in immediacy, to make a baby somewhere down the road. And until I really started really thinking of this (certainly the thought crossed my mind when I was studying sustainable agriculture in school) I also kind of wanted a daughter, especially as some kind of last grand opportunity for me to make up as much as my karmic debt to the female, the girl & the woman. But I do recognize the self-interest animalistic sexuality to reproduce. Certainly, speaking of gender respect, I should not just consider it an act of selfishness and the people who have a desire to birth, love and take care of blood-related offspring as selfish as that it is clear the desire for motherhood is very prevalent. And obviously one of the most apparent reasons for me not to see it as selfishness, is the realization that there is a pretty decent chance of me changing my mind in this, especially if I have no idea what it likes to love & like someone so much as to want to marry them. (Which I failed to mention, because it is slightly irrelevant: I refuse to marry. But for no ideological reason.)
However, despite all of that, I may not be able to help myself from at least thinking that people & couples of the very passionate insistence to have a full blood kid are not very globally conscious. I just hope that if someone is in the final contemplation process of seriously making the decision to do so one area of concern is the future of the world. The world your offspring might be living in, but also the world of possibility to make a more globally helpful decision.
(Even though a healthy birth rate, and younger population balancing out an aging population is very good and very necessary for an economy’s strong growth. But national accounting measures and indicators such as GDP & GNP are not a very good measure of economic prosperity at all and need to be reformed, especially to consider externalities.)
As for me, it might turn out I’m shooting blanks anyways. Honestly, when I see it looks like nothing’s there.
PS: And even with all of that, I probably had something else to say that I’m forgetting. Probably the one thing that keeps me from looking like a complete asshole about this.
I haven’t eaten since breakfast at 6am and all I want to do is get Pizza at the place I do when I do on my night bike rides. But FUCK it has to be Friday and the fucking party douches are out like never before all around the bars & clubs up the street but people all around the whole area like a street festival especially the street that comes out next to the Pizza place. I don’t give a fuck what people would tell me to do anyway, the Pizza place inside is probably jammed itself wayyy beyond my tolerance for any fucking place any fucking time. And I put up enough with large groups of party cuntfucks every night of the week thinking its so hilarious to harass people on their bikes and even just walking through I stick out like a bitch because I’m not dressed in douche uniform.
This is irritability from not sleeping, not eating, and hay fever season much worse than last, itchy eyes, itchy throat, wind blowing my allergen soaked hair all over my fucking eyes, none of which I will let keep me indoors this time of year.
There was one pretty chill thing that happened a little earlier that’ll post some pictures of.
But seriously, if you are one of these people who like going out to these crowded street areas to get your high by the pathetic get laid olympics lubricant alcohol you can really please go FuhFuhFuhckinngg FUCK yourself.
I hope there is another shooting up in that bitchhole. I would not mind seeing some bodies drop.
Ultimately it comes down to I’d rather starve than be around any of that shit right now.